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behaviour, cats, contracts, entitlement, getting published, inspiration, motivation, passion, publishing, writers, writing
I’m cat sitting this week: two dear 18 year old ladies called Winnie and Millie, both of whom know and like me. Apparently these old girls have been together for most of their lives, and as they’re the same breed and size you’d think there would be some similarities in personality, but you couldn’t be more wrong. Winnie, the paler of the two, is like a timid little mouse. She makes no sounds at all, runs behind lounges when you want to pat her, hides out in the back shed during the day, and often misses out on food because she hangs back. Millie on the other hand is like a force of nature. She’s loud and proud! The darker of the two, she meows around the house in the middle of the night (in a Kathryn Hepburn voice) if she’s either lonely, hungry, bored or a bit achey. She stands beside the milk bowl until you put milk in it. She stands beside the sliding door to the upstairs deck and waits until you open it so she can sun herself – in both cases meowing if you don’t attend – and generally going through life with this amazing sense of entitlement.
I was having breakfast on the deck this morning, watching the two cats: Millie rolling around the deck admiring the ocean view, watching the Willie Wag Tails flit about, and warming her coat with some gentle morning rays. Then there was Winnie, hiding under a chair in the dining room, looking like she’d love a pat or a bask in the sun but not game to come out. What happened to her sense of entitlement? She’s just as deserving of love and sun and food as Millie. But she doesn’t get any because she’s scared.
As a writing mentor and author myself, I’ve met hundreds of writers, both published and unpublished, and I’d be an idiot if I hadn’t noticed patterns of behaviour in those who get published and those who don’t. Unfortunately it’s very much a Millie and Winnie situation. Talent is definitely not the deciding factor.
Millie writers are distinguished by a sense of entitlement. They stand at the milk dish or the sliding door expecting to get what they want (read: submitting to publishers, agents & competitions and believing in their right to be published). If they get a rejection or are ignored, they don’t walk away, they meow louder (submit to more competitions, agents and publishers) knowing that sooner or later their needs will be met. Millie writers will eventually get published.
Winnie writers, however, are usually crippled by self-doubt and hide behind talk about how hard things are, how few people are getting published, how fickle the industry is, how crappy their writing is. Winnie writers don’t submit their work confidently and regularly because there’s a soundtrack in their head that says What’s the point. and how can they become published if no-one sees their work?
Now I’m not suggesting that any old rubbish will be published if you only persist. Of course you have to learn your craft and continue improving. This conversation isn’t for beginner writers, it’s for those who should be published by now. Beyond talent and writing skill, how do you develop a sense of entitlement? Firstly, work out why you think you deserve to be published. Have you been writing for ten years and have worked damn hard? Are you innovative? Talented? Fabulous at editing? Stir your ego up. Get it on the job. Be a little grandiose in your own mind. Then write that down an put it where you can see it all the time. Mine is:
I’M THE MOST CREATIVE WRITER I KNOW
Purely my opinion but I believe it, and it gives me a sense of entitlement, particular in the fantasy genre. Of course I don’t usually advertise that because I don’t want people to think I’m a tosser. But I’m sharing it with you because defining why you deserve to be published will motivate you to write, to submit, to weather rejection, and to ultimately succeed in your career.
Don’t take no for an answer. When I was unpublished I had the Apollo 13 rescue statement pinned to my computer: Failure is not an option. Get cranky if that’s what it takes, but beyond the anger define why you damn well deserve to have a book with your name on the cover. Get a little Millie swagger happening (in your own mind, don’t share it with others or they’ll think you’re a tosser too!). You’ll be surprised by the results.
And if you have twenty minutes to sit with a coffee and watch this amazing TED talk, I promise it will show you practical ways to become more like Millie and less like Winnie…
Being a Thoroughly Modern Millie writer myself and one who foresaw the need to ignore failures of the greatest writers still getting it perfect: I decided to publish eBook before the cover was perfect. So I am still only at the 10% level of sales after 6 weeks but maybe I can succeed when a new cover goes up later today. All in all maybe we best leave the cover edition for those poor Winnie writers so that the top is better served to us Millies who will make money writing.
Ha! Thoroughly Modern MIllie. I love it! Best of luck with sales and hopefully the new cover and a bit of confident promo will do the trick.
correction:- the 10% level is there are 90% lesser — It is in the 10% category from the top my book is at. But then, for a Thoroughly Modern Millie what else would one expect.
Nothing but the best is what I’d expect!
I can understand not feeling entitled to win a competition or get the publishing contract, or recently not win the mentorship, but to not feel entitled to put your work forward in the first place is crippling. I hope not too many writers suffer that badly.
PS. I enjoyed your talk at the Redcliff library. I think I have a better understanding of what mentoring involves, where it fits in the process and the value of it. Thanks for coming down.
You’re welcome, Ashley. And thanks for your comments. Yes it is crippling when writers are so filled with self-doubt, but that’s where a support group can be super-helpful. No one needs to do it alone.
I love cats and this was a great illustration.
I’m sad to say that I see myself in both Millie and Winnie. I hope I’m moving more in the direction of persevering (not sure I want to call it entitlement) now that I’m older and more confident in who I am. When I was younger, I really didn’t have the self-confidence to push through the rejections.
I think there’s a little bit of both in all of us, Sharon. I’m far more of a Millie in my career, and can default to Winnie in relationships if I’m not careful. Recognising the tendencies is half the battle! Perseverance is a wonderful thing, but if it doesn’t come coupled with confidence in your work it still might not hit the mark. I know quite a few writers who persevere but don’t hold out much hope. You really have to ‘keep the faith’ and believe it will happen, to make the stars line up. Am so glad to hear your self-confidence is growing. The support of other writers can really help.
I think the reason I don’t buy into the word “entitlement” is because I work with 7th and 8th grade students, many who feel entitled to things I had to work for at their age. I believe in hard work. It’s hard to convince the younger generation that they need to work for things when so many parents (I am guilty of this too) give kids whatever they want, as long as they can afford to do it.
I think pursuing something with determination in great, but even if I’m a prolific author, I’m not entitled to be published. To me, entitlement implies that something was handed to me for the simple reason that I deserved it (or thought I did).
Who’s to say who deserves to be published? In this new paradigm, I can self-publish if I so desire, rather than waiting for an agent, editor or publisher to decide I’m worthy. However, I’ve read a few books that I don’t think should have been published. It is this that keeps me from going that route because I want to be sure what I write is really ready for public consumption.
I agree that support from other writers really helps. I’m thankful for published authors, such as you, who are willing to spend time mentoring those of us still working our way toward being published.
Thanks so much for pointing that out Sharon, and I completely ‘get’ where you’re coming from. People do need to realise you don’t get life handed to you on a platter. And the term ‘sense of entitlement’ has certainly gotten a bad reputation of late. I was meaning to use it in the sense that, if I’m in a relationship with someone and am faithful to them, I have a sense that I’m entitled for them to be faithful in return. If they’re not, I feel entitled to break up with them and find someone who will be faithful. Some people don’t have that sense of entitlement, so if their partner plays up on them, they think it’s their fault and that they don’t deserve any better.
Writers can be the same way. If their book is rejected by an editor they may feel at fault – their story is lame, their characterisation is weak, they’re just not good enough. It’s very easy to put on the muddy glasses at that point. But often stories of publication standard are rejected for completely subjective reasons – the editor doesn’t like that sort of character/plotline/theme, or they’ve got a couple of stories like that coming out next year already. If the writer didn’t have any sense of the worthiness of their work they might give up.
So perhaps ‘worthiness’ is a better word. I want writers to feel a sense of worthiness in their work if they’ve learned their craft, have independent feedback from peers or an assessor to the effect that their work is publishable, and have taken courage in their hands and submitted. They probably don’t need a Millie swagger to pull that off, but too much humility can be interpreted as lack of confidence in your work. Striking a good balance is key.
I know you’re right. Just wish I could sustain my Millie side for more than short bursts.
Thanks for popping in Helen. My inner Millie falters at times, and if I can’t get her back on my own I ring one of my writer friends and say “Tell me how good I am again, I’ve forgotten.” And bless them, instead of telling me I’m a tosser, they tell me I’m great! There’s nothing better than close writing buddies to help keep your self-esteem high!
great advice Louise – and so true about what cats can teach us.
Thanks Lindy. Hope you had a great time at ARRC. It looked amazing!
Attitude! I love that about cats. Millie the Mentor I think I will name her.I just published one anthology on Smashwords and have three more novels in the process. As a new author the learning curve is steep but I can see promise of success if I just keep on and learning this craft and way of life. I certainly subscribe to “failure is not an option”. Thank you Louise for all the encouragement.
You’re welcome Jeanne. And I’m so pleased to see you’re keen to keep on learning the craft. It doesn’t matter how many books we have published, there’s always more to learn! Cheers.
That’s good stuff, Louise. I’ll be in contact with you within the next two weeks.
Regards
John
Look forward to it John 🙂
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I think I am Millie at heart but Winnie on the surface. My first reaction is to be hurt and shy away when it’s obvious I’ve been rejected, but I believe that although I am new to writing, I definitely have the drive to succeed. When I looked at my first draft that I wrote a year earlier, I was appalled that I sent it out to my first beta reader; I have learned so much in even that small amount of time and am so much happier with my final draft. I’m keen to get my story out. I know that my voice isn’t conventional, and that I have some difficult obstacles to overcome with genre and age group, but I’m willing to fight. And meow at the door – softly.
Good for you Lorelle! Persistence is such an under-rated quality, and SO important for writers. Sounds like you’ve got it in spades 🙂